Teenage Angst

My ADDer Teenager

Teenagers are such amazing creatures they change from day-to-day and are so resilient.  Those teens that have ADHD have a tough time of it with these changes.  Not only are they changing physically they are also changing mentally are already dealing with the differences they have from others and now have to deal with their own differences within themselves.  This can be a real struggle because not only do they have a hard time understanding others, they have a problem understanding themselves, and often times the concept of personal space. Remember that in the teenage world personal space is new territory they are learning what is acceptable and what is not. Conversely, ADDers often times missed the memo on personal space.

ADDers don’t understand it and don’t understand why others are so put off by their efforts to communicate or be friends.   Teens are just embarking on a new frontier one that will enable them to emerge as adults with their own minds and own attitudes.  Peer pressure is huge and so is the need for acceptance in this time period and for the ADDer the problems are amplified.  We as parents must be able to see this for what it is and expect that what they are feeling is so much more than what we felt at this age.  The self-doubt that can set in and fester is critical at this time so being supportive and helping them see the big picture is going to help them adjust.  Not only do they need guidance during this time, but they need a life coach, or other mediator too! Of course we want to be that life coach or mediator and we should be, however the ADDer needs more than a parent they need a peer to help with the coaching because only a peer who is ADD or understands ADD can really help the ADDer understand his own emotional roller coaster and journey.

Parents mean well, often times if there isn’t a real relationship already built there it will become strained when the ADDer thinks that they are being judged, or feels embarrassed because how could a parent even understand about how they feel.  As I said before it’s amplified beyond what the average teen feels.  Thankfully most parents of ADDers have been doing it for sometime and understand there are differences.  The average ADDer has a mind speeding at light speed and it takes medication, Biofeedback or serious meditation to slow it down enough so the ADDer can consider what it is they are feeling, thinking, or saying.  And knowing this is half the battle with all ADDers not only the teenage ones.  If you have a teenage ADDer consider this when they tend to be way out-of-bounds or more uncontrollable than usual.  They don’t understand what is happening so you have to be the guide and find ways to help them help themselves.  Group settings with others who are ADDers helps immensely, having a life coach as I stated before helps too.  And as always having a parent who understands is paramount to the success of the journey of the ADDer who is a teenager.  You can find life coaches, group programs, and literature through Dyslexia International, CHADD, and even SARRC.  Here are some links that will help.  http://www.autismcenter.org/vocational.aspx#35, http://www.interdys.org/, http://www.interdys.org/ these are just a few there are more and research will you find what you are looking for in regards to the individual needs of your ADDer.